- When my family moved from New York City to Texas, I didn’t think it’d be permanent.
- My husband and I got divorced after the move, so now we’re raising our kids here.
- My children seem happy in Texas, but I would’ve preferred to raise them in New York City.
When my family moved from New York City to Texas eight years ago, I didn’t think we’d be there for very long.
I’d grown up in New York and had been happily embracing motherhood there with my 18-month-old daughter and 3-year-old son. However, my husband at the time was tired of the East Coast and wanted to move back to his hometown, Houston.
I was heartbroken but didn’t feel like I had much of a choice since he was the breadwinner.
New York was always home for me, so I figured we’d be back. Unfortunately, the move didn’t end up being as temporary as I’d hoped.
A few years later, we got divorced. I realized it would be nearly impossible for me to move our children back to New York without disrupting their lives or our custody agreement.
So, I've lived in Texas for almost a decade now. It still doesn't feel like home to me, and I'm still struggling to adjust to raising my kids in a place so different from where I'm from.
Our lives in Texas look nothing like I pictured them in New York
Although my kids are happy in their schools and have lots of friends, busy social lives, and great sports programs, Houston isn't where I would've chosen to raise them.
In New York City, I'd looked forward to many more years of walking my kids to our favorite playgrounds, parks, bookstores, and cafés — all within a 10-block radius from our home. When walking was too far, I liked knowing our extracurriculars and excursions would be just a subway or bus ride away.
Here, I have to drive us anywhere and everywhere. Public transit is limited, and walking to our destination is rarely an option.
Houston's neighborhoods are spread out, which means driving over 30 minutes to take my daughter to basketball practice and even longer to get my son to soccer.
The city's highways get pretty congested, and Interstate 10 is especially daunting to navigate — some parts of the freeway have over a dozen lanes of traffic. My gas and car insurance costs add up, too.
If we were still in New York City, I wouldn't even need to have a car.
Although no city is perfect, living by the Gulf Coast has also given me new anxieties.
In Houston, we're at risk of being hit with hurricanes, rainstorms, and flooding for a large portion of the year. Last summer alone, I spent over $1,500 on meals and lodging when Hurricane Beryl took out our power for a week.
I love being outside with my kids, and the coast has some nice beaches. Even so, we had great outdoor spots in New York, from the trees in Central Park to the hills of the Hudson Valley.
And, sure, Texas has lots of sunshine — but summers can feel scorching with frequent daily temperatures in the 90s. They make me miss the milder summers of the Northeast, which only reminds me that my kids won't grow up experiencing the seasons like I did.
Watching falling autumn leaves and fresh snowfall were highlights of my childhood in New York. I still feel sad that my kids will miss out on that exciting feeling of a new beginning each time the seasons change.
I wouldn't have chosen to raise my kids in Texas, but I'm trying to make the best of it
Every place has its pros and cons — and maybe it's easy to idealize the childhood I thought my kids would have in New York City now that it's not an option.
However, I still feel grief about raising my kids in Texas and had hoped I would've adjusted to life here by now.
When I'm homesick, I remind my kids of their roots and family in Manhattan and Astoria, where leaves change color in the fall and streets are walkable. I'm also planning to take them on a trip to New York soon and can't wait.
The Lone Star state may never feel like home to me, but I know it's special to my children, and they'll make many great memories here.
Just as I miss New York, they may one day long for the place they grew up: Texas.